Uniquely Blessed

***Just a note to say that this post was written last week after Bammy's graveside service. I planned to post it immediately upon my return to Oklahoma, but then there was a sick cat and a soccer tournament. Once again, life gets in the way of blogging. Go figure. ***

Another name for this blog title could have been, “Two Year Old Tyrant”. But I have decided to go with the sentimental side of things instead.

My cousin Johnny said today that our family is “Uniquely Blessed” because Bammy’s life impacted us all so much. He is right. And I must be “Abundantly Uniquely Blessed” because BOTH of my grandmother’s and BOTH of my grandfather’s have been such a large part of my life. Not to mention aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins, first cousins once removed, and...okay, you get the point. I’m probably the only “only child” out there who never actually FELT like an only child because of my huge extended family.

Bammy’s graveside service took place in Shaw, Mississippi, which is about two and a half hours from where my parents live. So, it was a bit of a drive to get there, and since the burial was at 2:00 pm, we would need to eat lunch on the road somewhere. This of course, called for a picnic. Because my grandmother? She loved a picnic. In my grandmother’s obituary, my Aunt Sue wrote, “ A lover of nature, Barbara taught her children and grandchildren how to fish, row a boat, pack a delicious picnic meal, and appreciate the joys of being outdoors.” And so it was decided that the perfect way to honor her 95 years was to pack that delicious picnic meal and stop at a park on the way to Shaw.

I remember going on one of my first picnics when I was probably a little younger than Annie. Now, I am certain that I had gone on a picnic with my parents before, but THIS particular picnic was LARGE with A LOT OF PEOPLE (at least in my seven year old mind...). It also included pimento cheese sandwiches. I will forgive you if you are unfamiliar with this particular Southern fare. I know that I was at that time as well. I thought it sounded disgusting, if you want the truth. But I still remember tasting that first bite and loving it. And now every single time I eat it, I think of that picnic with ALL THE PEOPLE AND ALL THE FOOD. But let me just clarify one thing: Do NOT buy your pimento cheese from the grocery store. It will not taste like homemade and then you will wonder what all the fuss was about. You can thank me for that later. And just so you know I’m serious, I’ll even give you my Mimi’s recipe for pimento cheese. It’ll knock your socks off.

But when I think of that picnic, I also think of dirty feet. Because where ever we were, there was a lot of dirt. And being that is was Mississippi inthe summer time, I’m sure the air was heavy with humidity and we did a fair amount of sweating. In sandles. I won’t spell that out for you, but let’s just say that we took a picture of all our nasty feet in a circle before we left out picnic area. I wish I could find that picture to scan it in and include it in my blog post, but my mother told me that it would involve moving the couch to find it in her vast array of picture albums. As much as I love that picture, I don’t love moving her couch, so use your imaginations. Dirty feet. In a circle. There.

Today’s picnic would be a family affair. There ended up being around 25 of us. We stopped at a park in Greenwood, Mississippi. It was in a beautiful area and included a nice, open air gazebo with picnic tables where we could gather and eat. No pimento cheese sandwiches this time. Instead, we had chicken tenders picked up from a local restaurant.

And unlike other picnics, this one included men in sport coats riding seesaws.

And great grandchildren riding merry go rounds.

It also included a family “Uniquely Blessed” by each other.

I think Bammy would have loved it.

Dearly Beloved

Today was both a happy and a sad day. My cousin, Anne Claire, got married (which is the happy part) in Louisiana. I so wanted to be there to watch her walk down the aisle and remember how she used to sing "Blue Suede Shoes" in the bath tub every night. But we live here in OKLAHOMA, which happens to be very far away from Louisiana, and Jamie's work schedule prevented us from being able to make it. Not being able to make occasions like that always makes me homesick for my family in Mississippi. I was kept abreast of events through pictures and emails during the day and that made for some good laughs and made me feel more a part of things.

But what I wasn't expecting right before Annie's soccer game started, was a phone call from my father to tell me that my grandmother had died. This was not exactly unexpected news, since Bammy has not been doing well for a while and on Monday they discovered a large brain tumor. I guess it was the TIMING of the phone call that was unexpected. But then, is there ever a good time for these things? I didn't want to get too upset at the soccer fields, not out of embarrassment, or out of fear of eye makeup running everywhere, but because I didn't want Annie to suspect anything was amiss. Annie is very much my child. She wears her heart on her sleeve and feels EVERYTHING. She has known about Bammy's decline and about the tumor and was very sad about it all. I wanted to keep it from her long enough for her to be able to play her game and then I would tell her.

So, we managed to get through the soccer game (we won). And then when we got home, I told her. We both did some crying. Annie asked lots of questions. And then I got to tell her lots of my special memories with my Bammy. We cried some more. We also did a lot of laughing.

My girls are named after some special women. Annie is named after my grandmother, Mimi and my mother, who's names are both Annelle. And Jane is named after Bammy and my mother in law. Jane was Bammy's middle name. Funny how we had such a hard time coming up with a name for our second daughter, but when we thought of "Jane" it was a perfect fit. And now that Bammy is gone, I can't express how happy I am to have named my youngest after her.

Annie and I talked a lot about my memories about Bammy. I told her the story I used to love to have Bammy tell me. Once, when she was a little girl, she and her brothers were outside by the train tracks in cold weather. They were playing around and one of her brothers dared her to put her tongue on the train tracks. When she did it, her tongue instantly stuck to it. This was a problem, but the bigger problem was when the brother yelled, "TRAIN!!!!" which caused Bammy to rip her tongue from the train track, thus leaving behind a good chunk of skin. I always laughed and laughed at that story, especially the part when the brother got a good beating.

I told Annie about how Bammy used to make me fishing poles out of bamboo and then we would go down to the Benoit Outing Club and fish all morning until I was so hot and sticky that I would be begging to jump into the club pool just a few yards away. I told her that she taught me to do leaf rubbings and that she knew the names of EVERY flower and plant around. She could make the BEST hot fudge to go over ice cream. And her peach cobbler could not be rivaled. Whenever I find the PERFECT fig preserves, I am instantly transported back to my childhood and sitting in her kitchen with the smell of bacon (and possibly burned toast) in the air. She always had a smile and a laugh, and as I told Annie today, she always made me feel so beautiful. I was precious in her sight.

You want to know the best thing? Annie felt precious in her sight too. What a blessing. What a great blessing that my sweet girl is just as sad about losing my grandmother as I am. How lucky I am that my children can share such special memories of the people I love. Being able to share my love for Bammy with someone who loved her as I did was such a comfort to me today.

After our talk Annie went upstairs for a long while. She came down later and played with her brother and sister. She laughed, she played games, she did all the things she normally does. But when it was time for bed and prayers she got teary again. She walked upstairs to get her devotional that we are reading during Lent, and when she came down, she brought me this:

Bammy is in the middle, with the heart on her shirt. She is saying, "Papa Tango!" which is what the kids call my father. My father is standing next to her saying "Mom!" and up in that tree to the right is my grandfather (my mother's father who died while I was pregnant with Jane) who is represented by a cardinal. This is what she drew earlier in the day when she was upstairs for so long. I love that girl.

And I love you too, Barbara Jane. But then, you already knew that.