Friday, January 29, 2010

A Snow Day Haiku and Other Ramblings...

Snow days. Stuck inside.
Jay plays the Indian Song.
Over. And over.

At first, he only knew one Indian song on the piano, but then he learned ANOTHER ONE and now we have Indian Song VARIETY! All day, every day with the Indian Song on the piano. All day.

I have had lots of good questions today. Wonder if you can answer them? "Was I supposed to brush my teeth this morning?" "Why can't I gargle my tomato soup?" "Do I HAVE to wear pants?" "How many seconds are in 7 minutes?" (QUICK!! DO THE MATH!! DON'T THINK!!) Can I have brownies for breakfast? (Can't blame them for trying.) My brain is slowing oozing out of my ears in case you are wondering.

No, I haven't completely lost it yet, but we ARE stuck inside with the ice and snow situation. And while I am one of those who generally LOVES a snow day, the current realization that I have had at least one elementary child home with me for at least one day every single week since Christmas break has me a little batty. Don't tell Jamie. He may not come home from work.

First there were the two days that we got out due to extreme cold. That was the fist week back in school after Christmas break. Then, Jay got big time teeth extracted for two weeks in a row. Then there was Martin Luther King Day last Monday, followed by a bout with strep causing Annie to miss school that Friday, and then a strep scare for Jay on Wednesday of this week and now they are home again!!!! No really, Broken Arrow Public Schools, will you please take my children back??

In all seriousness, we ARE having a lovely day at home. I am sporting my sweet jammies and slippers at two in the afternoon (I can't shower...the POWER might go out!!). The big kids have been sledding in the driveway (the driveway with practically no incline...they are using their imaginations!). I have been a lazy mother and let Jane walk around with her snack, which the dog really appreciated since that meant she got to go on a goldfish hunt. She found them in flower pots, on chairs, and in a candle holder. There's a lesson for me...QUIT BEING A LAZY MOTHER! So to make up for my laziness, we have big plans for an Uno tournament this afternoon while Jane is napping. Babies don't play Uno. They can't hold the cards.

The snow keeps falling down, as it has for hours now and I will enjoy being snuggled up and warm next to my fireplace and listening to the Indian Song. Happy Snow Day!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

An Undeniable Force of Nature...

I promise that not all of my blog entries are going to be solely focused on Jane. But I figure that Jay and Annie both got their fair share of blog entries when they were babies. And while the two of them are vastly amusing, THIS topic makes of MUCH better black mail options later on.

So, let's review the NEW Jane proofing that I've done since my last post. I have added door knob covers (or if your brain doesn't function you may refer to them as "door knob BLOCKERS" until your husband corrects you) to all the downstairs doors. I spent 70 (SEVENTY!!!!!) dollars on a baby gate that will automatically close. It will replace the mattress in front of the stairs. This is because SOME baby (who will remain nameless) takes great pleasure in climbing OVER said mattress and high tailing it up the stairs. Now, truth be told, she CAN actually just pull the mattress down, but climbing over it proves much more of a point. A point that she likes to prove daily. If I find that I like this gate, I will spend ANOTHER 70 (SEVENTY!!!!!) dollars on another gate and place it outside the back door. This is no joking matter. We have a pool and a very determined baby.

Then there was the day that Jamie found Jane straddled over the rail of her crib, trapped between the wall and the rail. That day, I got online and researched those crib tents. But then I figured that she'd just use her little monkey hands and feet and somehow end up swinging upside down from it. And the last thing I want to do is provide her with one MORE thing to hang upside down from.

I'd love to figure out a way to keep her from sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. In the time it takes me to put three plates in the dishwasher, she has scaled the kitchen chairs and is sitting proudly in the middle of the table. You want to know the funny thing? THE CHAIRS NEVER MOVE!!! I still can't figure out how she does it because I CAN'T CATCH HER IN ACTION! I've checked the baby proofing aisles, but they don't MAKE anything that claims, "Will Keep Your Half-Monkey Child off Tables". So I don't know? Butter? Crisco? Do you know how stupid I sound when I yell, "You may NOT sit on the kitchen table!!"

Today I went out and bought 15 dollars worth of onesies. Yes, it seems we have graduated from the training pants. I found her standing completely naked in her crib this morning. Diaper, pajamas AND training pants all on the floor as if to say, " SUCKER!!!!" Who knows how long she had been there like that? All I can say is, long enough to tee tee.

I'd like to get a new stroller. One that will contain her, as she crawled out of hers this morning, slithered out underneath the little snack bar and RAN from me. But I don't know what stroller WOULD actually contain her aside from one in which you physically SEW her into it. Who has time for that?

And those flimsy little straps on the shopping carts at Walmart? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! How Jane and I laugh at those! When we get there, I strap her in just to humor myself and appease other customers who look at me scathingly an hour later, as she is turned completely around and KNEELING in the cart. I repeatedly point out, "She IS strapped in!!" I ask them if they have any super glue. They never do. Well...don't offer ADVICE if you don't even carry super glue! Oh, but Walmart is her favorite place! She waves from the time we walk in, to the time we leave. Her fans...they adore her. And she MUST turn around backwards to wave at them all!!

My baby. She is an undeniable force of nature. Hurricane Jane. Hmmm...has a nice ring to it, I think.

**Edited to add: Upon waking up from her nap, Jane was found sans overalls and diaper. What does this kid have against clothes?? And when did she learn to remove overalls?