At Nine Months

Dear Jane,

You have now been here longer than I was pregnant with you.  That is a concept so strange to me that I cannot even put it into words.  How can that be?  I was only pregnant for 35 weeks, but that was the absolute LONGEST 35 weeks of my entire life.  How is it possible that THESE nine months have flown by?  That now that I want time to slow down, it seems to be speeding up to a pace I cannot keep up with?

I have been using the phrase, "This time last year..." a lot lately.  A Lot.  And this time last year I can tell you exactly what we were doing.  We were painting your nursery, and I was having fits of hysteria.  Not because I was having a baby, but because I was having preterm labor issues among other things and I was truly afraid that I was painting your room a fabulous shade of "Paris Pink" that I was going to regret terribly if something went wrong.  Nice attitude, huh?  Honestly though, I can remember standing in your closet, inspecting all the work that Daddy did and wondering how emotionally painful it was going to be if we had to repaint it all.  And taking the tags off your clothes to wash them before your arrival?  Daddy literally had to FORCE me to do it.  I wouldn't even pack a hospital bag for you.  This woman?  Your mother?  She has some Issues.  

Oh but now...now Miss Jane, you are happy, and healthy and LOUD.  And I delight in every single baby scream you let loose.  Even the ones that make the dog run for cover and the cats flee, leaving little claw marks on the couch as they scramble for safety.  You are that loud.  That's been the funniest thing lately.  You have discovered the volume control on your voice and you love to go from whispering, "BabababaBABABABABABABABABA" to screaming as loud as you possibly can.  Jay and Annie think this is so funny, and they encourage you every chance they get.  Just one more way that I am outnumbered in more ways than I can even imagine.  

You are crawling everywhere, pulling up, standing (when you don't realize it) and so close to clapping that I expect it is just days away. You started to sign "milk" today, although Daddy won't count it yet because you have only done it twice.  But it was at exactly the right time, both times, so I'm counting it.  I'm your Mama and I will always give you the benefit of the doubt.  Your two bottom teeth have FINALLY made their way through and you are sleeping much better.  And because of THAT, I am a much nicer person to live with.  

Jane, I have a question for you though. Why does 5:45 pm always send you right over the edge?  Can you actually TELL time?  Do we have a genius baby on our hands here?  It doesn't matter if you wake from your afternoon nap at 2:30 or 4:30, when that clock hits 5:45 we had all BETTER TAKE COVER.  The screaming begins.  And child...you can scream.  Not only do you scream though, you have this noise of displeasure that I cannot describe.  The closest thing I can come to describing it is to say that it reminds me of "Mr. Peepers" on those old Saturday Night Live skits. Or maybe even the Tasmanian devil.  It's a lot of raspberry blowing, spitting, with the occasional angry consonant sound thrown in.  You do this whenever you are mad about anything.  Diaper changes, falling down, having sharp objects and house plants pried out of your hands.  I imagine this noise, properly translated, would be something like this, "Why.  Why, oh Mother, do I have to live in this world where I must lie on my back to have you change my diaper?  Why must I live in a place where the clothes TOUCH MY BODY and the wind dares to blow across my skin??  The injustice of it all pains me greatly."

But, when you are happy, you are SOOOOO happy.  Yesterday you discovered the joys of wrestling. I laid on the floor and you crawled all over me, burying your head in my shoulder, giving me wet, open mouth kisses, and giggling as I grabbed hold of you and rolled over while tickling you.  You thought that was the most fun ever!  Annie joined us and you laughed and laughed as I tickled her.  And you screamed in anticipation as I said, "I'mmmmmmm gonnaaaaaaa geeeeeeeeetttttttt YOU!"  And on the "YOU"  I tickled both of you at the same time and you fell over you were laughing so hard.    

So this is my first Mother's Day as the mother of three.  It has been such a special day.  Last year was spent painting your nursery.  Anticipation, excitement, and fear were the major emotions.  This year?  Laughter and contentment.  Thank God for that.  

You bring as much joy to me as Jay and Annie do...and that says a lot, my little girl.  I just never imagined that that much joy could be multiplied by three.  

I love you,

Mama